Safety Statement

SLAAvirtual Intergroup, Inc has adopted the following statement in November 2023.

Tradition Five states: “Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the Sex and Love Addict who still suffers.”

Any person seeking help with a sex and love addiction is welcome in this group. No SLAA entity determines an individual’s membership in Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. It is this group’s conscience that if any person endangers another individual or disrupts the group’s efforts to carry SLAA’s message, the group may ask that person to leave.

This group strives to safeguard the anonymity of SLAA members and attendees; however, keep in mind that anonymity in SLAA is not a cloak for unsafe or illegal behaviour. Addressing such behaviour and/or contacting the proper authorities when appropriate, does not go against any SLAA Tradition and is meant to ensure the safety of all in attendance.

Tradition One states: “Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon S.L.A.A. unity.” Recognizing the importance of group unity, our group strives to create a safe environment in which addicts can focus on achieving sobriety and recovery.

  • Safety is a topic within SLAA that groups and members can address. Developing workable solutions to help keep our groups and meetings safe can be based on the principles of SLAA.
  • In discussions about safety, keep the focus on
    • our primary purpose,
    • our common welfare, and
    • placing principles before personalities.
  • Bullying, predatory behaviours and unwanted sexual or emotional advances are in conflict with carrying the SLAA message of recovery and with SLAA principles.
  • The only requirement for SLAA membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. Groups and members strive to create a safe environment for the addict who still suffers

Adapted from the AA Safety Card

Additional Reading

Group Safety Suggestions

Although online recovery spaces like Zoom and WhatsApp can be physically safer than in-person meetings, serious incidents of online harassment, cyber-bullying and abuse can still occur.

Unfortunately too, there are predators who will join an online group from time to time in an effort to scam member(s) financially, pick up or possibly to attack an unsuspecting member.

  1. Our Groups are never a place to act out. Anyone subjected to bullying, harassment, inappropriate unwanted sexual or emotional advances and/or other abuse should report the incident to your Admin or other trusted servant immediately.
  2. Take timely action that includes the realistic warning to the offending person that illegal behaviour will be reported to the police and pursued by the group.
  3. Stay in reality not denial of the extent of the situation BUT stay out of drama.
  4. It is the responsibility of volunteers from the group to handle this as trusted servants on a timely basis.
  5. Two members should approach the individual and acknowledge the alleged behaviour really shows how unmanageable our addiction can be.
  6. Assure the person that the group wants to help them with recovery, and will do so.
  7. However, it needs to be said with caring: “This behaviour is unacceptable. We want to help you, but if the behaviour continues, we will have no choice except to remove you from our group and/or report it to the police. Everyone who comes to our meeting, sincerely looking for help will get it. Both men and women must be safe. Please consider carefully what we have said before you return to the group or meeting.”
  8. Immediate action is necessary and so the group does not require a “formal meeting” to acquire a formal “group conscience.”
  9. The offender might enjoy getting lots of attention and therefore a simple communication by two members with good recovery in SLAA is better.
  10. One person should not take it upon themselves to handle this alone.
  11. Some of the leaders of the group, current and former officers, sponsors and/or long timers in program should help.
  12. Although business meetings and group conscience are very important for many decisions, some things are better dealt with discreetly by a few trusted servants.

SLAAvirtual’s Safety Policy and Procedure

SLAAvirtual Intergroup, Inc requests comments on the following DRAFT Safety Policy and Procedure.

Discrimination, harassment, and sexual harassment of SLAA members are unacceptable: 

* at online meetings and events run by or belonging to SLAAvirtual, and 

* on SLAAvirtual-operated or -moderated websites, chat rooms, internet forums and social media pages,

(together called SLAA virtual spaces). 

Instances of discrimination, harassment, and sexual harassment violate this Policy even if they do not constitute a violation of law in the location of SLAAvirtual, the complainant or the accused.

Reporting

All trusted servants, members and participants in SLAA virtual spaces should help assure SLAAvirtual and all related events are free from discrimination and harassment. 

Anyone who feels that they are being subjected to discrimination, harassment, or sexual harassment should immediately request the person engaging in such behavior to stop, and should promptly report the behavior to any trusted servant of the Group where the behaviour has occurred requesting that they take action to restore the safety of the meeting or other virtual space. 

If the matter is not resolved to the individual’s satisfaction by informal action, they may pursue a complaint in writing to SLAAvirtual by email to slaavirtual@gmail.com. 

If at any time any trusted servant, member, or attendee believes they have been a victim of or witness to a crime, the police in the jurisdiction of the accused should be notified directly. 

Any trusted servant of SLAAvirtual who is aware of or who receives a report of conduct which violates this Policy is required to report immediately to the SVIG: Complaint Resolution Committee (“Committee”). If an incident occurs in clear violation of the law, the Committee will notify the police in the jurisdiction of the offender directly.

Retaliation

No individual will be subject to, and it is the SLAAvirtual’s policy to strictly prohibit, any form of discipline or retaliation for reporting incidents of discrimination, harassment, or sexual harassment, or for pursuing with SLAAvirtual or the appropriate governmental agency or otherwise any claim of discrimination, harassment, or sexual harassment. Any such discipline or retaliation is a violation of this policy. 

Any SLAAvirtual trusted servant or member determined by the Committee to have engaged in such discipline or retaliation will be subject to discipline, up to and including termination from service and/or removal from any or all SLAA virtual spaces. Intentionally providing false information, however, is also grounds for termination or removal.

Investigation

Reports of discrimination, harassment, and sexual harassment are taken seriously and will be dealt with promptly by the Committee. The specific action taken in any particular case depends on the nature and gravity of the conduct reported, and may include intervention, mediation, investigation, and the initiation of disciplinary processes as discussed more fully below.

Where discrimination, harassment, or sexual harassment is found to have occurred, SLAAvirtual will act to stop the discrimination or harassment, act to prevent its recurrence, and discipline those responsible. The Committee will promptly, thoroughly, and impartially investigate the report of discrimination and/or harassment. The Committee may put interim measures in place, such as a leave of absence or censure, while the investigation takes place.

Following investigation, the Committee shall make recommendations to the full Intergroup regarding all reports describing conduct inconsistent with this Policy. At the conclusion of the investigation, the Committee will provide the complainant with an explanation of the investigation results.

The investigation may conclude in one of three ways:

(1) That a violation of policy occurred;

(2) That no violation occurred; or

(3) That it cannot be determined whether or not a violation occurred.

Disciplinary or Corrective Action

When an investigation reveals a violation of this Policy has occurred SLAAvirtual will take corrective action. Upon a finding of discrimination, harassment, or sexual harassment, the Intergroup will take disciplinary or corrective action that it deems appropriate, in its sole discretion, under the circumstances.

Disciplinary or corrective action may include, for example, termination, removal, dismissal, or prohibition from attending future SLAAvirtual conferences, events, and/or participation in SLAA virtual spaces.

Discrimination, harassment, or sexual harassment need not amount to a criminal violation to be disciplined under this Policy. 

Confidentiality

SLAAvirtual recognizes that confidentiality is important.

Those responsible for implementing this Policy will respect the confidentiality and privacy of individuals reporting or accused of discrimination, harassment, or sexual harassment to the extent reasonably possible.

Examples of situations where confidentiality cannot be maintained include circumstances when SLAAvirtual is required by law to disclose information (such as in response to legal process) and when disclosure is required by SLAAvirtual’s outweighing interest in protecting the rights of others.

For questions, concerns, and reporting of incidences please email slaavirtual@gmail.com

Zoom Safety

For detailed recommendations on securing Zoom meetings, including meeting setups, delegating responsibility, and responding to “Zoombombers,” SLAA Los Angeles offers this guidance:

  • Digital Security Suggestions — This document details the responsibilities of the Virtual Host, who acts as gatekeeper and monitor for the meeting. It also gives suggestions for managing and rotating meeting passwords.
  • Zoom Meetings: Protecting Anonymity & Security Settings — A detailed list of meeting settings to protect the meeting and participants’ anonymity.
  • The Zoom Security Guide by Thom R. of Alcoholics Anonymous — A very detailed guide with a lot of lived experience. One unique suggestion Thom makes is that requiring users to log into Zoom (which they can do for free) offers more protection than setting passcodes for meetings. This method keeps attendees anonymous within the meeting while still accountable to Zoom.

Tips from our Members

Recently there have been some disturbing incidents of a member attending online meetings and acting out on the meetings, also taking down contact details and contacting people inappropriately outside the meeting. This person has also been abusive on one of the WhatsApp groups.

This has been upsetting for many individuals and of course makes everyone feel unsafe. Please be warned of the possibility of this person doing this again.

Of course, each group conscience must deal with these risks how they see fit but here are some of the measures some meetings have put in place in order to safeguard their meetings:

  • 12 stepping new members on the phone before they can attend the meeting for the first time
  • Making sure each attendee introduces themselves at the beginning
  • Having the host of the meeting ready to get someone disruptive off the meeting
  • Making sure personal details such as phone numbers are not visible
  • With a WhatsApp group, making sure there is someone responsible for admin to deal with things swiftly and block the member if need be

I hope you may find some of these useful, and if you have any other suggestions that your meeting uses that may be useful to others, please share.

—Anonymous